New year resoutions.

Following are top 10 resolutions people make, as claimed by a research group, based on responses of some 30k ppl. And my reasons for not making any of them.

1. Lose Weight and Get in Better Physical Shape.

Am planning weight loss surgery in mid year. And neways i like my parathas too much.

2. Stick to a Budget

NOT APPLICABLE(u need some money to budget it. Hope my bosses read this..).

3. Debt Reduction

Let the US solve there crisis first, Our Economy is still doing good. No need. Might even take a personal loan to go to Switzerland for my 2nd honeymoon.


4. Enjoy More Quality Time with Family & Friends

And sacrifice partying, binge drinking, late night working, orkutting, blogging.. ARE U KIDDING ME??


5. Find My Soul Mate

AS per some claims, our soul weighs as less as 21 grams. Now, It'd be unfair to rest of me, if i want a soul mate. My body is the significant part of me after all. I'd rather find a HOT BODY BODY MATE..!

6. Quit Smoking

Self Explanatory.

7. Find a Better Job

How many Sales people will u find blogging on a month end?? I'll take gratuity from this co. And then take VRS...!
8. Learn Something New

As if i am able to remember whatever i learnt all through these years. Duh..!

9. Volunteer and Help Others

Acha..!! As if I've got no stuff to do myself.


10. Get Organized

There's some method in chaos. And i love that.

Eager..!

She- send me Ur pic..
He-OOOOO(to be read in Austin power's style)... some one's eager to see me..!! yum..!!
She-Just curious..
He-wait a sec.. am mailing it across..
She-LONG Deafening Silence..!
He-Waiting for some compliments.. with Oohs.. and Ahas..
She- HEE HEE HEE HEE.
He- I want my pics back(angry face)
She- No, Want to keep them, will be good to have for a laugh now and then..!
He- I Want them back..! No one makes fun of me this way!
she- u sent me funny pics, what'd i do?
He- (Exasperated) OK, at least u'll smile looking at em.
She- Yeah.. laughing would be RUDE Na..!
He- (Cursing himself for sending the pics) Sweet dreams.


Sorry..?? who was Eager??

Mind games

Jumbo-WIn..!! Please..!

Tell me about the time u....

Injured yourself
Many years ago, trying to climb the 250 steps to my school, on my knees on the parapet.
Been in love
Quite a lot of times.

Been violent
Very often in early life, last slapped someone doing an absurd thing.

Drank too much
Never, i hold my drink pretty well.

Experienced bliss
Stood out in the freezing temperature at manikaran saheb,4 in the morning, and looked at the stars for 2 freezing hours.

Did something you shouldn't have
Well, it was not nice to stand in the middle of the class and tell my economics teacher.."Mam, I love ur figure.."

Created art
All the time, People just do not understand it..

Surprised someone
Called up my sis on her B'day, without any body's reminders.

Went somewhere fancy
My "somewhere Fancy" is every one's "Oh NO" place..

Bought something expensive
Usually my shoes are not very comfortable in my budget. Apart from that, all major purchases are for mum.

Played a practical joke on someone
U'd not like the details..

Felt nervous in some one's company
NOt a lot, though was usually sweating old, while invited to Principal's office.

Felt beautiful
Every morning..

Felt unattractive
wen frequently compared to my GF's dad..!! Whew..!

Threw a party
Last Sunday.

Were the centre of attention
Usually am, am quite a loud person u see.

Felt betrayed
Sis told everyone about my breakup..!

Lied
I'd have died without lies..! thank god, i can lie.

Were scared
Having climbed halfway to the man made water shaft of some 1000 meters, and looking back down at the river, trembling, and moving on.

Jerry

Training a dog is no mean feat. People take pride in watching there pet perform at there slightest cue. Jerry has done well in the training department. He has trained we well enough to "perform" as and when he feels like going out for The Royal potty, The Royal meal, The Royal morning sleep, of course on top of my bed, among other "Tricks".

Unfortunately,my maid has not got as much time to train as yours truly. And she has to bear the brunt. How dare she, Jerry appears to be thinking, when she carelessly tosses his basket while wiping the floor, or touches his trencher. And the events that follow, are best left untouched. I had to use all my selling and convincing skills to establish my civility in the neighbourhood, after the maid last ran out of house, screaming, cloths torn and displaced. Jerry, the sweet thing wouldn't do that, Patel auntie says.

And what about the Dirty dance i would like to ask her. Was it me who Jumped in the tub, while the Poor maid was trying to wash some clothes, and then lick her face, like an icecream, and go on dancing on freshly wiped floor?? Or is it me, who hides her not so clean chappals, everyday?

Looks are deceptive, Patel Auntie has to learn better, or i'll have to clean my mess myself, and that of Jerry's.

The Dancing Words

I do not like to watch a movie more than once. The only movie i have watched twice in a theatre is Mughal-e-azam(and i slept like a baby the second time, with Jalaludin Akbar's thunderous voice playing in background).

Tarre Zamin Par is different. . I feel like going back to the cosmoplex, and watch it again, and may be again. What a movie..!!! Crisp, clear, easy paced, subtle, and on a topic very close to my heart, Education. I am really impressed with the sensitivity with which the subject has been handled.

A special child, fighting a lone battle with dyslexia, with no one understanding what is troubling him, or even trying to. His agony, his meek attempts to fight back, his broken heart, his joy, and his victory, all come out, and never being loud or melodramatic.

Darsheel has done a good job(it would be proper to say Aamir has done a good job-getting a nice performance out of the kid), Tisca is looking nice. SAL's music is nice, and grows on u as u sit through the movie, laughing, and crying.

Am looking forward to Aamirs next as a director.

Jerry

Three cheers to Jerry..!!!

Paris Hilton has some competition here..(Oh no.. not in the vediography dept.)!

While i have been a victim of my awkward(with a Capital A) social skills, Jerry seems to be a master at socialising. I never knew the name of my neighbour's daughter while my 18 month stay at Jamnagar, nor did i know the first name of my Dhobi. And here's Jerry.. three months in Rajkot, and he's a regular at Patel Aunty's evening tea meet. I am ot complaining, i get to eat the biscuits too u see. And evolved being that Jerry is, he has a great sense of time, and highest regard for punctuality. And it appears so does Patel Auntyji.

Patels were not friendly when i had comehere first, a punjabi(daaru pine wala, meat khane wala) was not a great neighbour to have they thought. But thank god, Jerry's come along. even now, due to my eggitarian status, i am barred from the Patel kitchen, but the evolved being can sttuter around, lick auntiji's feet and beg for some ganthia-thepla..!

I am relieved. Only that Patels have no daughter and one bitch(oops.... LADY DOG..lest Jerry reads this).

kathmandu

Boss i am over worked.

yes dear u are..

i guess i need a break.. can i have a day off today

oh sure.. i'd love to allow that..but..

oh please boss.. i am feeling a bit of fever too..

thats too bad..

so can i..

u did'nt update me on the response of plan 256..

Its a sad product boss.. no use selling what ppl do not want to buy..

its selling like hot cake in ahmedabad..

but thats a different market..

u know sid??.. he got promoted last year.. used to be good at selling new products..
yeah he went to kathmandu on LTA for 10 days.. i know him.

so what are ur plans for 256..

I guess I'll do better than ahmedabad boss..

great.. u wanted a leave..?

no.. i feel better already.. and neways had to brief my team about the plan 256..

Greatest Challenge OF All

It is very commonly said that the most important resource any organisation has is human resource(is it a resource BTW).

I have, in a short span of time worked with several companies, in different industries, and all of them leading ones, supposedly the best ones around. And I loved being there.

But i have found each one of them not able to keep there employees engaged. Not many employees are thinking about there job as a role in a bigger system, working towards a goal. The passion for the work is missing. The willingness to run that extra mile is just not there.And i am talking TOP companies here.

And the ones who are engaged in with there company, working towards its goals, willingly, making there goal a subset of the company's goal, are the better performers, both in terms of numbers and in quality of work. They gain the hang of the business much quicker than the avg. non engaged employee, as he relatively spends far more time thinking about the business, and improvements.

These are the kind of people every organisation needs. Dedicated, capable employees, working in tune with the company's objectives.

These people are hard to find.

And i have seen people with these qualities are hard to retain, they jump jobs more frequently.

Companies are having a tough time understanding there expectations and responding to them.

Hiring smart people is tough, Keeping them engaged is tougher. And MONEY is not the only answer.